Can You Be Too Direct? And Is It Bad Or Good?

Being direct is a quality that many people appreciate, however the same does not apply to people that are too direct. 

As with almost all traits we have, too much of a good thing is a bad thing because there are different circumstances, and in some of them, being direct might work great, while in others might be a disaster.

too direct

Can you be too direct?

Yes, there are situations in which saying what you think too direct will negatively affect the conversation or the person you are talking with.

Also, how direct you should be, varies from one situation to another. For example, you might tell your wife to bring you a glass of water without the need to be overly polite, and she will understand, however you can not ask for the same thing in the same tone when you are at an interview.

In certain situations, it might be too direct even to ask for a glass of water, I know it’s obvious, but you can’t ask your boss to bring you a glass of water, most you can do is politely ask where is the place to get some water if you are thirsty. 

So, yes, in certain situations, being too direct is bad.

The thing is that many people glorify this trait, which is a good one, but it can easily end up becoming a bad one if it’s used when it is not the case.

Read Also: 4 Disadvantages Of Being Curious

Why do many people say that they are too direct?

I know, and I bet you also know people that say they are too direct, they are actually bragging about this. 

People who say that they are too direct, and this is their”weakness,” reaming me of people saying:”my biggest weakness is that I work too hard and I care too much”(at an interview) and also people who say that their “weakness” is being stubborn. They are kind of bragging even when they talk about weaknesses, they find the first thing that sounds cool but can be considered a weakness and use that.

Being stubborn or too direct is indeed a weakness in certain situations, but this is not what those people want to highlight when they use those cliches.

However, not many people are too direct and honest.

The thing is that everybody who says that immediately thinks about the moments when they were direct and said what they thought, but the truth is that this happens way less often than the times when we are not as direct, especially if we talk about people we don’t care as much. We are not as direct and honest with a coworker as we are with our best friends, and that is actually not a bad thing since you will end up being awkward more often than not if you are too direct with people you don’t have a close relationship with.

So when you think that you are too direct, think twice, and see if you are direct with everybody or just with family and close friends, which is actually normal.

There are many people I’m not as direct with, and I don’t consider that a bad thing since I don’t want a close relationship with them and don’t interact with them as often.

Read Also: Is Being Diplomatic Good Or Bad?

Is it being too direct good or bad?

Being direct is good in many circumstances, but being too direct is not as good.

You can be perceived as aggressive instead of assertive when you are too direct, especially with people you don’t know well.

As I said in my article about being overly polite, anything done to extremes is bad, so there should be a balance between being polite and direct.

Being too direct might be perceived as being rude, and wanting to be too direct because it is cool will most likely be perceived as rude because it will not be natural.

You can be direct and polite at the same time, so one does not exclude the other, however many times, it is hard to do both at the same time.

By being too direct, you might scare some people, you have to keep in mind that many people are used to other people being overly polite rather than too direct.

Read Also: Is Being Mysterious Attractive?


How direct you should be, varies a lot, as I said before, and as a rule of thumb, you should be more polite in professional environments and more direct in casual environments.

It is quite weird to be too polite with friends, and it can be off-putting, and you might be in trouble if you are too direct at work.

So the best thing is to be adaptable, understand the circumstances you are in, pay attention to the other person, and understand their boundaries in relation to you.