How often best friends should talk is not an easy question to answer since there are many nuances to this, but I will do my best to touch on different circumstances and let you know what can influence the frequency. However, do best friends talk everyday is a question many people have, and I noticed that it is used as a benchmark, you either talk everyday, or you talk way less often than that.
In this article, I will try to discuss about how often best friends talk and how often they see each other since an actual hang-out might be way more important than several phone calls or text messages.
Do best friends talk everyday?
No, the majority of best friends don’t necessarily talk everyday. That being said, some of them actually do that, but it can easily turn into codependency rather than friendship, so you have to be very careful about why you talk everyday.
How often best friends talk to each other depends on their age, personality, circumstances, life stage, and so on. You can’t say that talking everyday is not a good idea for someone who is 14th and talking to their best friends is the most important thing at that age also they might be schoolmates. But when you talk about a grown-up adult with a job, spouse, and kids, it is very hard to see this happening or being a good idea.
So while the majority of best friends don’t talk daily, from what I noticed from forums and real-life friends and acquaintances, that doesn’t mean it can’t work for some people.
I would not stop myself from calling my friends or seeing them if I really wanted to do it, at the same time, I would not force myself to see them daily or on a regular basis to prove that we have a good friendship or something along this line.
It is the same with relationships, some people talk and want to see each other more often than others. For example, I spend almost all my time with my wife, and we hang out with friends pretty often, but they are mutual friends, so we are together even then.
We work together, live together, do gym at home, and even play video games together, so we are basically 24/7 together, and we talk a lot during this time, except when it is work or gym time. I also know that this would be a nightmare scenario for many people even if they go along with their spouse, but for us is working pretty well, and we have around six years of doing it.
Who do you consider best friends?
When we talk about how often you should talk with your best friend or if you should talk everyday, you have to ask yourself how close you actually are to your best friends. I have an article that will help you to understand the difference between close vs. intimate friends(best friends as we know them).
You should not consider the best friend a person that you have a hard time opening up to, and that you don’t have personal discussions, no matter how much time you spend with them.
Be aware of the circumstantial friendships, as schoolmates or coworkers, you have to spend a lot of time with your colleagues, and maybe you start to open up a bit, but that doesn’t make you even close or casual friends in some situations if you don’t hang out with them outside of those circumstances.
If those people are not the first ones you have in mind when you organize a birthday party or any kind of event, they are not your best friends.
There are way more things to have in mind when you consider someone your best friend, but that will be a long article on its own.
How often should you call your best friend?
You should call your best friend as often as you feel like it and especially when you have something relevant to say.
Remember that calling someone without a clear reason is annoying, and it gets increasingly annoying if you do it more often. So it is not a problem if you call them daily if you have something to talk about, you have common interests that you are doing daily, and so on, but calling daily without reason is a sure way to get ignored in the long run. They might answer you in the beginning, but when they have any other things to do, and you call them just to see how they are or to talk about nothing specifically, they will most likely ignore your call.
I have an entire article about how often friends should text each other but a call is more intrusive than a text. It also depends on your personality, introverts hate phone calls more than extroverts.
3 Things that affect how often you talk to your best friends
As I said, not all best friends are in the same circumstances in life so let’s see what can make you talk more or less often to your best friends.
Age(life stage) is very important when we talk about how often friends talk to each other and if talking everyday is a good idea or not.
People tend to prioritize friends more until they have their first job and first serious relationship. For most adult people, their best friend is their life partner, not for all of them but for the majority, it is, and I think there is nothing wrong with that since you have to trust and be open to your partner. Here is an article that discusses venting about your relationship with your friends and why this is not a good idea, this happens a lot, especially when your partner is not your best friend.
Also, in our 20s, we tend to prioritize our careers more than our friends, which is also not a good thing, but it happens for most people. So it is easy to see why after 20 we don’t usually talk everyday with our best friends.
There are people that would like to talk with someone everyday, other people that would like to talk with a lot of people but not so often, and also those that would like to talk less to other people around them. This doesn’t make one better than another, it is just their preferences when it comes to interacting with their friends, you can argue with that if they are happy with how they are doing those things.
So before considering someone is ignoring you or doesn’t have the same interest in talking to you as often as you want, think about their personality and how they handle other friendships.
-Things in common
It’s easier to talk with your best friend everyday if you have a lot of things in common like school, hobbies, work, video games, movies, music, mutual friends, and so on. However, when you have none, you will most likely have empty talks that will become annoying soon.
Some people keep on talking every day even if they don’t have too many things to talk about, but that can happen because they don’t have other friends or something along this line which can lead to codependency pretty fast rather than a healthy friendship.
Talking everyday with your best friend can work if you have the right circumstances, but you should not do it on purpose. If you don’t talk daily doesn’t mean you are not best friends.
Pay more attention to quality rather than quantity when it comes to how much time you talk or spend with your friends or best friends.