When people talk about personalities, there is always this example of an introvert that will go to a corner when they get to a party and avoid interacting with other people, while an extrovert will be in the middle of the party, so it’s easy to understand that introverts hate parties. But do they really hate parties?
It’s easy to mislead people with this example since the word party doesn’t necessarily mean a huge group of people that don’t know each other, that is more clubbing than party.
We don’t usually have parties with tens of people like in the movies.
Do introverts hate parties?
No, introverts don’t hate all parties, only the ones that make them uncomfortable and push them out of their comfort zone. However, you can be a good dancer as an introvert and love a party just because you can dance and don’t care about the people around you or meet other people who are good dancers.
This misconception comes from the fact that most extroverts don’t understand that people can have fun in different ways, not only by talking to a lot of new people and being in the middle of the party. Of course, introverts might have a hard time understanding why extroverts act this way, but this article is about parties, so they are not to blame this time.
Not all parties are about meeting new people, you can be an introvert and attend a party where you know all the people, so the anxiety of meeting new people is not there.
There are many parties where some people get into a corner and talk all night while drinking, and they seem like they have fun without talking to all the people at that party. Most likely, it is at least one introvert in that group, but you can’t say they have a bad time and must hate the party.
There are a lot of parties where introverts have a great time, my wife is an introvert, and she likes parties. Yes, there are parties where she will dance with me all night and doesn’t interact with other people, but that’s not because she hates them or the party but because this is how she likes to party.
Introverts usually don’t do a thing if they don’t find it meaningful that’s why they hate small talk and even phone calls. So the fact that my wife prefers to dance rather than meet new people and have surface-level talks with them means that she doesn’t find that meaningful.
Also, introverts that prefer to talk with one person all night long might have the same opinion, they would rather know a person much better than having small talk with ten other people at the party, it’s more meaningful for them.
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When does an introvert like being at a party?
As we said, introverts tend not to like what they deem as not being meaningful.
It is quite hard to say what introverts like because you can’t put a good part of the population in the same bucket. There are introverts that like singing, so being the first ones at karaoke might be their thing, even if it doesn’t seem like an introvert thing to do. As I said, they might be good dancers and will get all the attention by dancing, even if they are introverts.
But usually, a few criteria have to be met for them to have a good time, so we will focus on that rather than examples of parties they like.
-There must be circumstances for them to be able to do what they like.
If they like socializing with people they know and trust, having a party where they can find a more quiet place and talk with their friends might work for them.
Imagine being an introvert and attending a party where you don’t know a single person, and it’s very noisy, so you can’t even talk properly, and that’s the only thing you would do at a party. Of course, you would hate that party, but that doesn’t mean you hate all parties.
If you like dancing, but there is no good music for you or a place to dance or other no one is dancing at that party, it can also be a reason.
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-Introverts don’t like attending parties because other people insist
If an introvert attends a party just because their friends insist (sometimes they can be easily influenced), they will do their best to find what is wrong with that party and why they didn’t want to be there in the first place.
So make sure they really want to go to that party if you expect them to like it.
-Enough people they already know
It is not like introverts don’t socialize with new people, but they don’t like shallow socializing, which is the main way to socialize at parties. It is quite hard to have a deep, meaningful discussion with a new person you met at a party, it’s possible, but it’s not easy.
So knowing a few people at the party might help an introvert have a good time since they can always fall back on those people rather than being forced to interact with new people. So in this situation, they can choose what they want to do, talk with new people or stay with the ones they know.
You would be surprised to find out that introverts can and will want on many occasions to talk with new people, yes, they can be much more selective than an extrovert, but still, they can do it. They don’t like to be forced to do it or have no choice, but that’s something else.
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The conclusion is that introverts don’t necessarily hate parties, they can have a different way of having a good time and might need some conditions to be met in order for that to happen, but they can like parties.