Hanging out with friends while in a relationship is one of the main reasons newly formed couples (and even long-term couples) fight over it.
A lot of new things come into play when you want to hang out with your friends when you are in a relationship.
Before going further, I would encourage you to do your best to keep your friendships and also make new ones while you are in a relationship and talk with your partner about the importance of having friends in life. A partner who cares about you should encourage you to keep your friends close and make new friends since having a healthy social life is very important for our happiness.
One thing I will not discuss in this article is personality since that can be a book, not an article about how different people like to hang out with their friends, so you have to consider that when you think about hanging out with friends.
Hanging out with friends as a couple
Hanging out with friends as a couple it’s complicated, even if it might look that hanging out together is the solution, it is not always suited for the type of hang-out you have in mind.
Hanging out with your old friends might or might not work for you as a couple, no one likes to stay there and listen to all the stories you have had with your friends since you were kids. Your friends being in a relationship might help in this situation since there will be more new people in the conversation, and you will often feel the need to involve them in the conversation more.
Hanging out with friends you made together is the best situation for both of you, but those friends might not be as many as the friends you had before being in a relationship.
My wife and I have many common friends since we moved to another city together and started a new life here, but even when I want to go out with friends alone, she encourages me to do so.
There are moments when we go together to a party, and she would want to leave early, but she knows how much I like socializing.
We talked about those situations, and the conclusion was that I should not push her to stay longer, but when it is possible, she will go home, and I will stay at the party. This happened several times, and everything was fine without fighting when I got home, but we had to talk about it to know what would work best for each of us.
There were situations when we were in another city at someone’s party, and we had to find a middle ground at the moment. But at least we understand each other, and we know it is not about being possessive or having a toxic relationship; it is just how we are at social events.
Read Also: Who Pays For Dinner With Friends?
How often to hang out with friends while in a relationship?
There is no straightforward answer to this question, but you should hang out with your friends when you want to; however you need to understand the difference between wanting to hang out with friends and feeling pushed by friends to do it.
If you really like and want to hang out with friends but think first about the consequences for your relationship, the fight you will have with your partner, this is a red flag and a sign that you might be in a toxic relationship.
How often you would like to hang out with friends doesn’t need to match with how often your partner would want to hang out with their friends, but you have to talk about this to make it work.
It’s ok if you hang out with friends and your partner stays at home as long as they understand that you really want to, and you will have no problem when they want to hang out with their friends. It is not ok if the situation suits them to come with you, they would like to, and you go alone without asking them.
Why don’t couples hang out with friends as much? Compared to single people
When you are in a healthy and stable relationship, you don’t feel the need to hang out with friends as much as you feel when you are alone. That can be a good thing and a sign that you like spending time and talking with your partner about things you would normally talk about with your friends. In this case, it is not wrong that you don’t want to hang out with friends as often as before.
However, it can be the case that your partner is possessive or jealous and makes you feel guilty whenever you hang out with your friends and don’t spend time with them. And as a result, you cut off hanging out with your friends for those reasons without even thinking that you are in a toxic relationship. So make sure the reason you are not spending as much time as before with your friends is a good one.
What should your friends understand?
Your friends should understand that you don’t have as much time as before to spend with them. Friends being jealous when you are in a relationship is not uncommon; your friends can also be toxic and possessive and make you feel guilty that you spend too much time with your partner.
Read Also: Four Boundaries With Friends When In A Relationship
What should your partner understand?
Your partner should understand how you are and how much you like hanging out with friends. You have to be honest with your partner and tell them what you feel about going out with your friends, what you feel about going out with your partner, and so on.
If you talk about those things at the beginning of the relationship, it will be much easier going forward. Try not to be possessive and call or text your partner when they are hanging out with their friends only if necessary and be aware that if they call you too often, it might be a trust problem.
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Can you go out with opposite-sex friends alone?
Hanging out with a friend of the opposite sex while in a relationship is never as simple as it may seem.
I know many people have friends or best friends of the opposite sex. This by itself should not be a problem.
And ideally, your partner will understand that you are just friends and you are not lying about it.
However, ideally, it is far from how it usually happens. I know many cases when the best friend turner out to be a person with an incredible patient, and they liked their friend from the beginning without them even noticing.
I know, I know, not your case. It wasn’t their case either until they found out later or heard someone talking about it.
One of the signs to check if you are just friends is to pay attention to how they talk about people you date or are in a relationship with. One common thing for the people that like you but act like they are just friends is that they would not agree with any of your partners and will always find bad things to say about them.
I think a safe way to keep your friends is to include the opposite sex friends only when you go out with groups, not with them alone. Depends on your relationship and how well you communicate with your partner but first, ask yourself if you would like your partner to hang out with someone that is the opposite sex alone. If you don’t, you should not do it.
Read Also: How To Ask A Friend To Hang Out?
Conclusion
Hanging out with friends while in a relationship is a complicated topic, I can’t cover it in one article, but I tried my best to give you a few things to consider when you do hang out with friends.
It is very situation and personality-dependent, which means you have to think about all the situations for you and don’t take the advice you find online for good only if it suits you.
