How often you hang out with friends, or you should hang out with your friends as an adult or teenager, is a tricky question since the answer is “it depends”.
However, in this article, I will try to talk about a few things that can impact the frequency we hang out with our friends in different life stages, so you might find yourself something that is reliable.
Also, I will give you some ideas about how to get to meet your friends more often if this is a problem for you since I was at a point where I saw my friends once or twice a year and I know that it can seem that that’s how it should be, but it’s not.
Of course, there are differences between how often you hang out with your friends while in high school or college compared to when you are in a relationship with a job and maybe kids. But more time than not, those things are used more as excuses rather than real barriers to hanging out with our friends.
As I said in other articles, I will try not to go very deep into how your personality can affect how often you should hang out with your friends. I will instead try to give you some benchmarks that I noticed many people consider reasonable.
How often do you hang out with friends?
As an adult with a job, a relationship, and maybe kids, you should still make time to hang out with your friends once a month. However, where you live, where your friends live, your jobs, and other things can affect how often you can hang out with your friends.
If you consider someone a close friend, live in the same city, and have not hung out in more than a month, I would consider it a bit rare.
Here comes a problem, if you have too many friends that you consider close friends and you will want to hang out with them separately, it can be a bit difficult to find time for all of them, especially when you add up a busy schedule and a personal life.
I got into more details about what close friends and an acquaintance mean in this article about how many friends you should have at 30.
As a teenager in school, you have the chance to hang out with your friends more often. Most of the best friends people have are from the same school, and even if they are not, not having big responsibilities after school will make you prioritize hanging out with friends.
So If you have a best friend from the same city, you should hang out with them at least once a week, with other casual friends, it can be every other week or once a month but with the ones that you consider close friends, even intimate friends that you share everything with them you should hang out at least once a week.
It is also easier to make new friends and hang out with them as well since the school gives you many opportunities to talk to new people and get to know each other. Also, the new friends you meet in school will have a less busy schedule than the friends you meet as an adult, so you have the chance to ask them to hang out with you.
Read Also: How Often Should You Call Your Parents?
How often do I hang out with my friends?
Before going further, I will let you know how often I hang out with my friends since I’m the one writing this article.
I have 29 at the moment, married, with no kids. I moved to the city I live in two years ago, knowing three people in this city, two of them are in relationships, so two couples and a friend. Through them, I meet new friends, and now I have, let’s say, around 3-5 close friends and 10-15 casual friends or, let’s say, close acquaintances.
I hang out once a week with some of them, and once a month, we meet up with more of them at the same time at a BBQ, small party, or just for a drink at someone’s home or any other activity.
Before moving to this city, I had fewer friends where I lived for a longer time and hung out with friends once a month in the best case.
And I can tell you from my personal experience that hanging out with friends more often has pros and cons, but I would never cut down on friends anymore. I believe that having a good social life and people to hang out with when you feel the need is more important than many of us think, especially to keep us anchored to reality and help us be more emphatic and less selfish, which is a good thing.
How to hang out with your friends more often?
That being said, If you believe like me, having friends is a good thing for you. Hanging out with them more often should be a priority for you.
One thing that makes us hang out with our friends less often than in school is the fact that, as an adult, you have to hang out with them intentionally. In school, you will have the chance to hang out with them during classes and in breaks between classes, even if you don’t plan to.
Being proactive in meeting with your friends and thinking about how to meet up with them is not natural for many of us since we are used to hanging out with friends in high school or college without much effort. All of us had time to spend with friends.
But we have to realize that it is different as an adult, and we have to put more effort into meeting our friends and maybe sacrifice some time that we would spend playing a video game, watching a movie, or staying overtime at work.
You don’t have to sacrifice the time you spend with your partner or kids since you can usually hang out with mutual friends.
Be the first one to call.
One thing I notice about friends that have a good social life is that they are always the first to call you. It can be discouraging, and for sure, it was for me seeing that I’m the one that calls all the time, but the thing is that many people don’t make an effort to improve their social life, so they don’t even think of calling friends to plan something together.
I noticed that the friends I call want to hang out, but they would never have the initiative to do something about it. This is a bit sad, but it is what it is, which means that if you wait for people to call you, you will be waiting for a while, even if they would like to hang out with you.
So the first thing for me was to understand that if I wanted to hang out with friends this weekend, I should start calling them, not wait for any of them to call me.
It’s easy to assume that if you call them to hang out all the time and they never have the initiative, they don’t really want to hang out with you, but this is not always the case. You will find out that most people don’t have the initiative to ask someone to hang out with them, no matter how much they would like to do it.
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Why do adults hang out with their friends so rarely?
The main reason adults don’t hang out with their friends as often is the time. You have work, you have a partner that you should spend time with, and maybe kids, without adding other home stuff you have to do.
This is why we see our friends less often than in college or high school, which is a valid reason. However, if you will put some effort into it and do things more intentionally, your social life can improve a lot.
The conclusion is that hanging out with friends less than once a month can be considered rare, you have to think about your specific situation. But if there is something you can do more to hang out with your friends, you should do it and know that it is an effort, and sometimes we have to sacrifice other things for hanging out with friends, but in the end, it is worth it.
Don’t let your ego stop you from calling the friends that haven’t called you. Of course, if you see that they refuse you all the time, you should stop asking them to hang out with you, but you have to try it at least once or twice.
It is easy to find excuses as an adult not to hang out with your friends and to find things that seem more important to do right now but losing your friends will affect you and your happiness more than losing a pay raise to your job.