Most adults would say that they had a lot more friends in high school than they have now, so how you stay in touch with friends after high school is the question.
This is not an easy question to answer, and many factors like moving to another city for college or work, having a stable relationship, and not having time can influence how you keep in touch with your friends after high school.
In this article, we will talk about how to stay in touch with them, if you should and why most people don’t stay in touch after high school.
Should you stay in touch with friends after high school?
You should stay in touch with your friends from high school if you have a real friendship with them, not only a circumstantial one. Check my article about circumstantial friendships to see which one you actually had.
Having in mind that after high school, you will start a different life, a new beginning, even if we talk about work or college, having someone to keep in touch with and talk about the new challenges you have in your life would be helpful. So keeping in touch with a few friends you can share all those things is a great idea, or if you feel open with your parents, they can be those friends for you.
There are pros and cons of keeping in touch with high school friends. They know you much better than the new friends you make and you can feel safer talking with them.
However, being in a new environment with new people you don’t know also has its perks. You can be whoever you want, and I don’t mean that you have to lie to them, but some old friends might have a hard time understanding that you’ve changed, you have different principles in life, or now you are more confident and capable of doing things, while other new people will know only what you want to show them from now on.
I was to high school in a different city, not where I live, and in college I changed city and friends again, I know that was very helpful for me, and I felt like a new person each time. I didn’t lie to put myself in a better light, but I wasn’t viewed and judged by what I did in the past since most of my new friends knew nothing about me, and that gave me the confidence to do what I really wanted to do.
Read Also: Why Do Introverts Hate Small Talk?
How to stay in touch with friends after high school?
If you decide that you want to stay in touch with your friends after high school, and I really recommend you do that at least in the beginning, here are six tips that will help you stay connected.
1. Local event
Local events in the city you were in high school are a great way to reconnect with the friends you had in high school.
So every time there is a concert, a show, a class, a festival or something you are interested in and you can participate, you can contact all your friends to see which of them can attend with you.
This is a great way of staying in touch with your friends, especially if they are not in the same city anymore. This gives them an incentive to come to meet with you rather than inviting them just to hang out together. That can also work, don’t understand me wrong but having an extra reason might help.
2. Visit them at their university/city they live
Many people change cities after high school, be it for college or work in a different city, so, you offering to visit them in their new city is a great way to stay in touch and strengthen your friendship. As I said, it can be helpful to be around new people, but at the same time, it can be lonely and empty, especially in the beginning. Having an old friend visiting you might be all you need to relax a bit and feel like you can share what you are going through.
3. Social media
Connecting with your friends from high school on social media is a great way of staying in touch. If you live far away from each other, talking via video or text over social media is a good enough way to stay in touch most of the time.
Also, if they share their life by posting on social media, you can be up to date with the new things that happen in your friend’s life. Take this with a grain of salt since you will see only the good things that happen in their life.
4. Group chat
Having a group chat with your friends help you keep connected with more of them at once. Organizing a party or hanging out with your friends is also easier if you have a group chat.
Yea, I know that many times those group chats transform into meme groups, but when someone posts an invitation to hang out, usually the group member will take it seriously since they know that is the reason why the group was created, but it is a place to share funny things in the meantime.
5. Call them every time you have the chance to meet them
This only applies if you change the city, you should contact your friends every time you come home, or you are in their city, and you can hang out with them.
There is nothing that destroys a friendship more than seeing someone is visiting the city you live in and don’t call you to hang out with them. I know there are circumstances that can lead to this. For example, I visited a city where a friend lives, but I had only a few hours there, and I had a specific thing to do at that time.
Even in that situation, you can let them know that you are in the city but don’t have time to meet with them but assure them that the next time they are the first person, you will call, and this gives you a reason to get in touch with them for a small chat.
6. Make a vacation together
Nothing makes you feel closer to a friend than making plans together, and what can be a better plan than a vacation?
Go somewhere with them, it doesn’t have to be far away if money is an issue. A two days city break might work wonderfully for you.
Why do many people not stay in touch with high school friends?
Most adults don’t prioritize friendship as much as they should, at least that is my opinion, considering that a healthy social life is one of the main factors contributing to our happiness.
I talked in this article about why it is hard to make friends in your 20s about a few things that change after high school, and if you want to go even further, check the article about how many friends people have at 30.
However, there are also good reasons people don’t stay in touch with high school friends.
Changing city is the main one in my opinion, and when this is not the case, a change in your interest and finding people that are more on the same page with you is another.
Also, this is when most people are in a relationship, which often affects how often you hang out with your friends and can lead to not even staying in touch with them.
So, there are good reasons why we lose friends from high school but also there is not enough effort and intentionality in staying in touch with them, which can be only our fault.
Read Also: How To Keep In Touch With College Friends?
I don’t know many people that stayed in touch with their friends from high school, this is especially true for the ones that went to college or work in another city.
I hope the list above will help you keep in touch with your friends after high school if this is something you really want.