How To Stop Being So Competitive? 6 Things You Can Do

While being competitive is good in certain situations, being too competitive is bad most of the time, so if you ever ask yourself how to stop being so competitive, you are probably a bit too competitive.

I’m a competitive person, and competitive people have always surrounded me since I went to a sports high school(IDK if there is such a thing in the U.S.) and Physical Education and Sports College.

That is why I can tell you from experience that being competitive is not always good, I learned this the hard way by annoying people around me and being obsessed with results without focusing on the quality of my personal life.

I stopped being so competitive when I met my wife, she showed me how to enjoy the chill, unproductive moments in life and why those moments are so important in order to have a happy life.

That is why I will list here all the things that I think are useful to know when you want to stop being too competitive.

stop being competitive

6 Things you can do to stop being so competitive

1. Understand the disadvantages

There are a lot of people talking about why being competitive is good and why it is the only way to get better results in life, but there are not enough people talking about the disadvantages of being too competitive.

I have an entire article about the pros and cons of being competitive that you can check to see more details about the disadvantages of being too competitive, but here are a few of them: – Stressful life.

-Annoying for other people around you

-Losing fun

-Unhealthy work-life balance

2. Set clear goals

One thing that makes you too competitive is not having clear goals. Wanting always more or more than others is a common way of thinking for people that are too competitive. Knowing why you are doing something and where you want to get it is helpful because this way, you can also have a better plan of how to get there that will include how much you have to work daily to reach that goal.

So you have fewer chances of having an unhealthy work-life balance this way.

Set realistic goals for yourself, but don’t forget to set goals for your personal and social life as well as you set for your professional life.

3. Know why you are competitive in the first place

To stop being too competitive, you have to know why you are competitive in the first place.

Do you want to show others what you are capable of? Is someone specific you want to impress? Are you too greedy? 

Find the reason first.

It is important to realize that being better than others at a certain thing will not necessarily mean that you are happier and also doesn’t mean that they will respect you or recognize that.

So if you are competitive only to prove to others that you are capable, you will be surprised that even when you get where you want, you will still not impress them, or at least they will not tell you that.

4. Compete with yourself

The healthiest competition is the one with yourself and the most honest one.

You will never know someone else’s life as well as yours. People can fake their success on social media, they might have parents that helped them get where they are, they might just be lucky, and so on, so comparing yourself with others is not really fair. At the same time, you might be better off than them, so there is never an equal comparison between two people.

Aim for progress, you should be grateful if you are going in the right direction when you compare yourself with past you. But even then, don’t be upset if there are moments when things are not going as you want, life is not linear, and there will be ups and downs.

5. Be more emphatic

Start appreciating others and be happy with their results, only this way you will become less competitive.

Understanding that you don’t have to be number one all the time and when someone has a nice moment in life, you should be truly happy for them is a big step toward being more emphatic and less competitive.

It is hard not to think about yourself when you see someone succeeding in what you also want to succeed in, but by doing it on purpose, you will create a habit, and next time it will come naturally.

Believe it or not, you can be second in a competition and be happier than in first place. 

You should aim to maximize happiness as often as you can, and being happy for others will also make you happy, so don’t avoid that.

6. Not everything is a competition

Making everything a competition is a stressful way of life, so try to understand and separate the moments where competing is necessary from the ones when it is not.

You should not compete with your friends and family to show them who is better in life, it doesn’t actually matter. You should be happy for everyone who is doing better than you, also know that we don’t need the same things as human beings. So while one might have more money, others might have more time, and we shouldn’t compete with others since we don’t enjoy the same things.

If someone is funnier than you when you are at a gathering with friends, that’s fine, you should laugh and let them have the attention instead of trying to compete.

Read Also: Is Being A Good Person Worth It?


Being too competitive isn’t helpful, so the fact that you want to know how to stop that shows that you are on the right track.

Keep working on yourself, enjoy the chill moments, and don’t make everything a competition if you want a happier and more relaxed life.