Being attracted to someone is not something we are consciously doing, so there are some traits we are attracted to, but are there people who actually consider arrogance attractive?
When we talk about someone being attractive, we usually talk about how someone seems to be, not about how they actually are, because attractiveness is the thing that makes us want to know that person better.
I’m saying this to make it clear why something might be attractive, but that doesn’t mean that it is good.
As I discussed in the article about shyness being attractive, there are some traits that arrogant people have that might make them attractive because they seem to have some actual qualities we want from people. But seem is the keyword here, most of the time, they don’t actually have those qualities, but it seems like they have. For example, they seem to be confident, but this doesn’t mean they actually are. We will discuss this in more detail later.
Is arrogance attractive?
Arrogance isn’t attractive, but it can be confused with confidence which is an attractive trait. Arrogant people feel superior to other people around them but not because they have a good reason they rather hide their own insecurities this way. Usually, we do a pretty good job of spotting them, but sometimes it might take a while until we realize that they are not actually confident people, and they might seem attractive in the meantime.
Usually, arrogant people tend to be overconfident and exaggerate what they actually accomplished. Overconfident people are off-putting for most normal people, they might be attractive to a few people that have low self-esteem, but that’s all.
Confidence and being a go-getter are attractive, but that doesn’t necessarily make other people around you feel inferior. You can be humble and confident at the same time, which might make other people around you more confident as well.
You can build the biggest building in town in two ways: 1. Build the biggest building.
2. Tear down all the other buildings.
Arrogant people are doing the second one without even realizing it. They don’t build genuine self-esteem and confidence, they want you to feel inferior, to one-up you all the time, which makes them better than you, at least in their view.
However, we have to talk about why arrogance might be perceived as attractive when we don’t pay close attention.
Read Also: Is Self-Deprecating Humor Attractive?
Why might arrogance be perceived as attractive?
I will repeat it, arrogant people seem to have some attractive qualities because they act in a certain way, but if you pay enough attention, you will notice that they are just faking it most of the time.
Let’s see what these qualities are:
This one we already discussed it, arrogant people want to be perceived as confident or overconfident people, but they don’t focus on how they can accomplish this but rather on their appearance. All they care about is to be perceived as confident, not actually to be confident.
To spot how people actually are, most of the time, you have to pay attention to the intent behind their actions, don’t let yourself be distracted by what people do, and focus on why they are doing what they do.
2. It seems like they will stand up for you
Arrogant people tend to be verbally or physically aggressive to show how “confident” they are. This might make you believe that they will stand up for you, which might be correct if this affects their image. But it is not for you, it is for them not to be perceived as weak. If there are circumstances when making you feel like trash adds “coolness points” to their image, they will do it, especially in front of their friends.
So, don’t confuse real protective people with arrogant people.
Read Also: Is Being Serious Attractive?
3. They are not easy to intimidate or contradict
Arrogant people seem to always end up on the better side of an argument or conflict. This might be true because they will do anything to make sure that happens so they can feel superior but not care about the people around you have and will always have great downsides.
They will lie, argue, ignore, fight, and do anything needed so they don’t seem wrong, but people around them will notice this, and this is a sure way to lose all your friends and relationships in the long run. It might seem like they are winning a fight, but at what cost?
You can’t win every argument you have if you are honest and you care about how people feel, even if it might not look so impressive, it is the better way in the long run.
But as we said, attractiveness is mostly about the first impression, so how can a person winning all the arguments not be attractive?
From what I noticed by paying attention to people around me, arrogant people tend to have people that like them and are actually impressed by them for a short time. Then the people around them start realizing that they are not so confident and treat them like they would treat anyone with low self-esteem or completely ignore them. The next step is always the same for arrogant people, they avoid those people and find new people to impress, but it is a vicious circle in the end.
Yes, in some situations, the first impression is amazing and gives you a nice feeling of superiority, but it doesn’t last long, and the end result is disastrous.
Read Also: How To Stop Copying Others
The conclusion is that arrogance is not attractive, confidence is, and arrogant people seem to be very confident until you look closer.
So, don’t envy arrogant people. Their life is not how it seems to be. Be true, be honest, and build real confidence if you want to be attractive.