Is Being Assertive Attractive? – 6 Good Reasons

Being assertive is one of the most appreciated traits a person can have, and it is no wonder why many people consider assertive people very attractive.

In this article, I want to discuss in more detail why being assertive is attractive, what being assertive says about someone’s personality, and so on.

There are certain traits that are attractive to many people, but it is also a matter of preference. Some people might consider shy people attractive, while others might be attracted to more serious ones. There are even people attracted to arrogant people, so it is not always good traits that are attractive.

assertive attractive

What does being assertive mean?

Being assertive means standing up for yourself or other people around you and saying what you think directly, honestly, and thoughtfully.

It is not enough to say what you think to be considered assertive because saying what you think many times can be seen as rude or inappropriate.

An assertive person will think about the other person’s feelings and interests before they talk and will try to come up with the best solution for both, not only to show that they are able to speak directly.

Is being assertive attractive?

Yes, being assertive is attractive because it shows a lot of confidence, empathy, and self-esteem, which are all attractive qualities.

I said in most of my articles about attractiveness that any good trait can be bad if done to an extreme, but when it comes to assertiveness, I have a hard time saying that you can be too assertive.

Since being assertive is a combination of many factors, it is not just blindly being one way or another, it is a much more thoughtful process.

So it is no wonder why almost everyone can agree that assertive people are attractive.

When discussing qualities and traits, assertiveness looks like someone had favorites when describing every quality.

What qualities does an assertive person have?

Here are six reasons why assertive people are attractive:

1. Confidence

Confidence is always on top when it comes to what qualities people want in their partner or even friends. Being assertive shows great confidence since you are able to stand up for yourself and say what you think.

2. Persuasive (good negotiation skills)

Having the power to say what you think while thinking about the other person’s needs is the key to being persuasive, which can be very attractive if it is not overdone.

That also means that an assertive person will have a hard time promoting or talking about something they don’t believe is best for them and the people around them, which is a great sign of empathy.

This makes assertive people good salespersons or negotiators, which leads me to the next point.

3. Leadership skills

Knowing what you want and caring about what others want simultaneously make you a great leader.

Having the power to express your feelings, not only what you think and want, makes you a great leader, not only a boss, because you become more reliable as a human being to other people, if this is not attractive, I don’t know what it is.

4. Protective

As I said, assertive people would stand up for themselves and the other people around them, making everybody feel safer and protected.

So it is quite attractive to know that the person you like will be willing to protect you when needed.

5. Open-minded

To understand what other people around you want and see how you can make what you want to go hand in hand with what they want, you have to be pretty open-minded.

Because there are rarely people that will be on the same page with you, coming up with a solution that makes both of you happy is pretty difficult if you are closed-minded.

6. Good communication skills

Being coherent and capable of saying exactly what you want and ensuring that the other person understands what you say is not easy. Not many people have these skills, and someone that has them is easily noticeable and quite attractive.

Some people consider being quiet or being mysterious attractive, but at least for me, those are not even close to how attractive is a person with good communication skills.

One does not necessarily exclude the other, you can have good communication skills and be quiet or mysterious. However, the reality is different, and people who talk way too little are not usually good communicators.

There are exceptions, of course, and being talkative doesn’t mean that you have good communication skills.

Read Also: Is Following Your Dreams Selfish?


I hope these six reasons clarify why most people consider being assertive attractive.

I would say that being assertive is a great trait to have, but for me, it seems more like a combination of good traits.