Is Being Mysterious Attractive? 3 Reasons It Seems That Way

I always knew that mysterious people are generally considered attractive, but later in life, I realized why that is.

To be clear, we will not talk here if it’s good or bad to be mysterious but rather about why being mysterious is attractive to many people.

What I want to avoid here is to say that mysterious people are one way or another because when it comes to attractiveness, it is not about how people are but rather how people seem to be.

For example, a shy person is attractive because it seems they need someone to protect them, even if that is not the case, for some people, this is attractive. On the other hand, an arrogant person seems to be very confident, which is an attractive trait, but that doesn’t mean that arrogant people are actually confident.

This article overlaps a bit with my article about why quiet people are attractive since, many times, mysterious people are quiet, and they seem to have the same qualities.

One more time before getting to the article, this article is about why mysterious people are attractive, which certainly doesn’t mean that being mysterious is good. In fact, on this blog, I encourage opening up to people, being honest, and not being afraid to be vulnerable, which mysterious people don’t usually do.


Is being mysterious attractive?

Yes, being mysterious is attractive because mysterious people seem to be more challenging to get to know, which makes them more special, and also, you feel better when you succeed because it wasn’t an easy win.

Mysterious people make your imagination go wild, and try to guess how they would be, this usually works in their favor because if you like a person, you will tend to overestimate how they actually are.

However, my opinion is that being mysterious is more attractive when we are teenagers and we don’t really have long-term plans, because when we get older, we would prefer to know what the other person is capable of and if we can count on them as quickly as possible.

If you plan to build a family with someone, you want them to be reliable, to speak their mind, and be honest, those qualities are not the first ones that come to mind when we think about a mysterious person.

Read Also: Can You Be Too Direct?

What do some people choose to be mysterious?

There are some people for whom this is their personality, they don’t talk much, they are somewhat interesting, and you can get to them, but a bit harder because they are more selective with people around them. That is fine when it comes naturally.

However, the sad truth is that many people choose to be mysterious on purpose to be more attractive and interesting, actually to grab attention, because those qualities like being mysterious, being quiet, not opening up, and so on are glorified too much.

So we end up with people that lack the confidence to be as they are and improve on their strengths and will rather try to hide under this mysterious mask because this way, they don’t have to be vulnerable.

In my article about being quiet vs. being talkative, I discussed why being quiet is not always good and being talkative can work in your favor in some circumstances.

Now let’s see why being mysterious is attractive. Because there are some reasons why many people consider this, me included, I don’t want to say that being mysterious is not attractive, but rather I don’t want to encourage being mysterious if that is not your personality.

3 Reasons why being mysterious is attractive.

1. The other person’s imagination can go wild

As I said, our imagination goes wild when it comes to mysterious people, and many times, how we imagine them, it is actually unrealistic because we don’t tend to compare them with other people but rather see them as unique and special, which many times is not that true.

This is a great thing when it comes to attractiveness because it makes mysterious people more interesting, but it can backfire when we actually get to know them because the expectations are so high or unrealistic that it is actually almost impossible to meet them.

2. Quieter

This is an attractive trait and actually good in many circumstances. Being quiet is better than talking too much, more often than not.

3. It’s a challenge to get to know them

As I said, this is one of the most important things when it comes to why mysterious people are attractive. We feel much more special when we get to know someone that isn’t as open with everybody.

However, this can really become a problem when people that really care about you and you care about them will think that it is not worth their effort. They might also think that you don’t like them, you have something to hide, or you don’t talk with anybody, which might not be true.

Why can being mysterious be bad?

In order to have really good friendships and relationships, it is crucial to open up and be honest, the thing with mysterious people is that all the mystery goes away when they do that, and you might end up realizing that it was all that made them so interesting.

One more problem is that mysterious people will have a hard time knowing when it is a perfect time not to be as mysterious anymore.

For example, there might be a girl that likes a mysterious boy and will try to get him like her back for one year until she gives up, however another girl might lose her patience in a week. Let’s say the person liked them both, with the first one, maybe he had a chance to open up a bit, to show her that he liked her as well, but with the second one, there are few chances for that. What I want to say is that if being mysterious is forced, you will most likely not know when to stop.

One last problem with being mysterious is that there is a fine line between being mysterious and being weird, which gets way worse as we get older. As teenagers, we often talk about people that seem to be mysterious however this word is not used as much in our 20s and 30s, and I would guess that not even after that. Almost any person that wants to be mysterious ends up being weird, too quiet, or things like that.

This happens because when you have a career, a relationship, and maybe kids, your time is limited, and you don’t appreciate the fact that you have to struggle to get to know someone as a friend or more, it doesn’t matter.

Read Also: Should You Text A Girl You Like Every Day?


Being mysterious is more attractive when we are teenagers than when we are adults with many more responsibilities.

Also, being mysterious because it is attractive, not because it comes naturally to you, is the biggest mistake you can make when it comes to being attractive because you will most likely end up being weird.

This is my opinion after doing some research and also personal experience. It is not advice, you should not change your personality after reading an article, but I really hope that I’ve succeeded in putting this in perspective.