Being around quiet people can be nice and calming, but does that make quiet people attractive?
When it comes to attractiveness, it is not about if a trait is good or bad, it is more about what a person with that trait seems to be, which makes them attractive or not.
For example, arrogant people seem to be confident, that doesn’t mean that they are confident, but it seems to be, and that can be attractive. Obviously, being arrogant is not good and not useful in the long term, but that doesn’t really matter when it comes to someone liking you, I don’t encourage this, but I want to make it more clear why an attractive trait is not necessarily a good trait.
However, being quiet is a good trait with a few downsides only if it’s overdone.
Is being quiet attractive?
Yes, being a quiet person is attractive to most people since everybody likes someone that is not annoying and overwhelming and seems a bit more mysterious.
When someone talks, a lot tends to overshare or brag, which can make them less attractive and less interesting.
I have an entire article about being quiet vs. being talkative, which will help you understand the pros and cons of both and when it is better to be one than another. It is not as straightforward, and saying that being quiet is better than being talkative without context is wrong.
5 Reasons why quiet people are attractive
Here are five reasons why quiet people are attractive:
1. More serious
Quiet people seem more serious than very talkative ones, which is an attractive trait. This is because, as I said, talkative people tend to overshare or brag or say things that they don’t think about too much before saying them.
However, being quiet when you are supposed to talk will have the opposite effect.
2. More confident
We often see talkative people who talk a lot because they are nervous and not confident and feel they need to talk more to cover that.
It takes confidence to be quiet in certain situations when you know your opinion is not needed or you don’t have to drag attention to you all the time.
If someone is quiet and doesn’t seem shy, looks more confident than a person who doesn’t stop talking.
3. Good listeners
Being a good listener is attractive and makes people want to spend more time with you because everyone wants to be heard and have someone that listens to them.
Some people are quiet and are not good listeners, but they are more of an exception, while between talkative people, good listeners are the exception.
4. It is calming to be around quiet people
We all have our thoughts and problems, and sometimes all we need is to be around someone that is quiet, to feel safe because someone is with us but at the same time to be able to live the moment and say nothing.
Knowing that you can have a chill hang out with a person is great.
5. Seem more humble
Being humble is a great trait in a world where most people want to impress others with their cars, clothes, stories, etc. Many times people also exaggerate about those things only to be sure that they get your attention which makes being around humble people more attractive.
Make sure you don’t confuse humble/humility with low self-esteem because there are some important differences between them.
The downsides of being too quiet
When we talk about the downsides, they apply more to being too quiet, not just quiet and talking when needed. However, it is important to know them since people tend to go to extremes rather than a balance between being quiet and talkative.
In certain situations, people around you will not know if they can or cannot count on you for a certain task since being too quiet makes them know little to nothing about you.
That might make you lose some good opportunities in your career and so on. It might even be a person that likes you, but you never give them any sign that you might have the same feelings for them, which can make them not even try.
-Under or overestimated
Both of them are good and bad, in certain situations is ok to be underestimated since you can prove yourself, and it will come as a surprise. However, if your boss doesn’t think you can do a better job and it will not promote you, that will be a surprise only for you and not a good one.
Being overestimated might also come with some problems when you have to deliver on those expectations. So, people guessing about your capabilities has more downsides than upsides, at least, this is my opinion.
Sometimes talking more makes you less interesting and mysterious, but at least people will know who they are dealing with.
-Hard to make real connections
Being secretive and quiet might make people think you are smarter in the beginning, but eventually, they will lose their patience and stop trying to guess how you actually are and start distancing themselves from you.
Being too quiet with people you care about is worst than talking too much, when it comes to coworkers, or school colleagues might be different because those might be just circumstantial friendships, and you don’t really want to have a close friendship with all of them.
Being quiet is attractive, but as it is with all the other good traits, too much of a good thing is a bad thing, so make sure you don’t end up being too quiet.
I hope this article will help you understand the advantages and also disadvantages of being quiet since I noticed that many people talk about only the good parts of being quiet without knowing the bad ones or ignoring them on purpose.