Is Self-Deprecating Humor Attractive? Or Is It Bad?

Usually, people agree that having a sense of humor is attractive and it’s a nice quality to have, but is it the same with self-deprecating humor? Is it attractive, or it shows that you don’t respect yourself?

In this article, I will try to explain how I see those things and what self-deprecating humor says about a person and why it can be seemed as attractive.

I also have another article in the exact opposite direction that talks about why shyness can be attractive, check it out.

is Self-Deprecating Humor Attractive

What is self-deprecating humor?

Self-deprecating humor is when someone is joking about themselves; it can be about their personalities, body, possessions, etc.

Self-deprecating humor has a great advantage when it comes to making fun or joking because it is inoffensive since it is about you, not about anyone or anything else.

I think it is one of the best ways to make jokes and not bother anyone, so I respect everyone who can do it.

The only risk with this one is that people will not understand that you don’t allow them to make fun of you because you do, but this depends on what people you have around you.

Read Also: Can Clothes Make You More Attractive?

Is self-deprecating humor attractive?

Self-deprecating humor is attractive because it shows that you have self-awareness, confidence, honesty, and a good sense of humor, all of those being attractive qualities.

Of course, what we consider attractive differs from one person to another but confidence and a sense of humor are top of the list of what people consider attractive qualities.

I discussed more about confidence in my article about why arrogance can be attractive, and there is the same reason, arrogance is confused with confidence, and that’s one of the reasons but in this case, having the courage to use self-deprecating humor really shows that you are confident.

At the same time, some people might consider shy people attractive because it seems they need protection, they are cute and harmless, and so on, which means that not everybody is attracted by confidence, but it is still one of the most desired qualities.

Anyway, having the power to use self-deprecating humor shows that you are aware of your flaws and you are honest about this, you can take responsibility when needed, and you are confident enough to talk about them. If you joke about your problems and flaws, it shows that you are one step closer to seriously talking about them as well because you are not hiding them and lying to yourself.

That is why self-deprecating humor can be attractive, it shows some qualities that we all appreciate and would like our partners to have.

Read Also: Nihilism vs Pessimism

When to use self-deprecating humor?

As I said, self-deprecating humor has a risk, and this can be exploited when you joke with the wrong people.

I guess those moments when you can use self-deprecating humor are the same as the moments you should use humor in general, but I think it is important to be aware of them, so here they are:

-When people know you already

This is especially important when we talk about self-deprecating humor, if someone already knows you, is aware that you are quite confident, and understands that you are just joking, self-deprecating humor will have the desired effect, otherwise it might arouse a weird and awkward reaction from the people around you.

-In casual environments, not in very professional ones

Using this kind of humor in professional environments is…well…not professional. You might have a light joke in a meeting with your team, but self-deprecating humor is not so light, and it might not be appropriate in a professional environment of any kind.

-When you want to cheer someone up

It’s a great way to distract someone from their problems and cheer them up, especially because it is not about them, it is about you, and it is a harmless joke.

-When you have the confidence that other people are capable of understanding it

If we talk about using self-deprecating humor in a small circle of people, you know it is important to make sure that they are smart enough to understand that it is a joke and they should not use this against you. Sometimes this is hard to know from the get-go, but if you pay attention to people around you and you know if they have a sense of humor or not, you can know better when not to use it.

Can self-deprecating humor be bad?

Self-deprecating humor is not bad if done properly and naturally. If you are pushing yourself to find a way to use it because it is attractive, it can become bad and not natural.

Also, if you do this way too often, you might force yourself to be more pessimistic and focus on your flaws more than you should for a healthy and happy life.

It might also lead to not taking your problems too seriously, but this is not as related to the humor but rather to your personality.

Read Also: Is Being Assertive Attractive? 


Self-deprecating humor shows a lot of good qualities about a person, and it can be attractive. Some people are overdoing it, but that is the problem with any good thing, hence the saying”too much of a good thing is a bad thing” as I said in the article about being too-open minded.

Make sure you appreciate someone that has the power to use such humor and don’t use what they say against them since most of those people are smart enough to realize that you are doing this and you used a “low-hanging fruit” to make them feel bad.