What I noticed from people around me is that we criticize way more people that talk too much compared to people that do not talk enough. So, that obviously means that talking too much is a weakness, no?
I would not jump to conclusions as fast since the answer varies a lot on the circumstances, and it is not as straightforward as it seems.
Also, considering that talking too much is always a weakness might make many people talk less than it would be necessary to make connections with other people around you.
Is talking too much a weakness?
Talking too much is not necessarily a sign of weakness, it depends on the circumstances and what makes you talk too much.
Some people talk a lot, but they are charismatic, funny, and likable, so people can listen to them for hours. Yes, they might not create very strong relationships since they are not emphatic and do not listen to other people as much, but that doesn’t mean they are weak.
However, if you are talking too much from a lack of confidence and you feel like you have to compensate, and that’s how you manifest, yes, it might be a weakness that you have to work on.
This is not only about quantity but quality as well. We all know some people that don’t talk much, but when they talk, it feels like it is already too much. The idea is that if you don’t have a good sense of what and when to talk, you can be perceived as annoying and weak even if you say five words.
Can talking too much be good in certain situations?
Talking too much is rarely good or necessary, but the actual tricky part is to be moderate and not end up in the opposite situation where you talk too little.
While talking too much is bad because you might push away people by annoying them or being overwhelming, talking too little might also push away people for a different reason.
If you talk way too little, it might make people around you feel like you don’t trust them or you have something to hide, so there are disadvantages to talking too little.
We do not connect with people that don’t open up to us, so if you want real connections, you should be able to talk and open up when necessary.
I can tell you that while almost all agree that someone talking too much is annoying, not many people will tell you that people who talk too little are annoying as well. This happens because a person who talks too little doesn’t bother you until you really want to get to know them better and make a real friendship or relationship with those people.
But the downside for people that talk too little is that while you might not be annoying to everyone, you will be annoying to the people that matter, those who care about you and want to connect with you. It is as bad as talking too much but not as obvious to everyone.
Where to draw a line between talking too much and too little?
The line is very hard to draw because it is situation-dependent. In some situations talking too much means talking continuously for hours, and in some situations talking for 5 minutes without listening to people around you might be too much.
So you can’t measure how much you talk very easily, however, you can see if you talk too much by the feedback you get from the people around you.
If someone gets to tell you that you are talking too much, that is a clear sign that you crossed that line. The worst thing you can do in that situation is to get angry and offended by that person.
Someone being honest and letting you know that should be respected if it wasn’t meant to bully you in front of others. Even if that is the case, you should not necessarily respect a bully, but you should reflect on the situation to see why they have said that and take it as a lesson. Not many people will bother to tell you that you are talking too much.
The opposite is true as well, if someone asks you why you are so quiet and why you are not opening up, you should take this as a sign. It is fine if you don’t like those people and don’t want real relationships with them, but if they are people you consider friends, you might be talking too little.
When someone lets you know that you talk too much or too little is easy to realize that you have a problem, but the reality is that not many people are willing to do that, either because they don’t care or they don’t want to bother you.
The hard part is to pay attention to people around you and realize when you talk too much or too little by their body language or behavior. You might be talking too much if they are always in a hurry when they meet you, and they have an “I’m ready to leave at any moment” body position.
So you should pay more attention to what people do and say when they are around you if you want to really understand if you are talking too much or not.
Read Also: Is Being Honest A Weakness?
Talking too much is not necessarily a weakness and talking too little is not a sign that you are mature, responsible, and emphatic. You should talk enough when needed. That is the hard part you have to figure out, in some circumstances, you are supposed to talk a lot, while in other circumstances you might be way better of by not talking at all.
So it is not to say that someone who is talking too much is necessarily weak, it also depends on the context and what he is talking about.