Losing Friends During Personal Growth – 8 Reasons

Losing friends during personal growth is natural and happens to all of us. Does this necessarily mean that we’ve done the right thing? While many people will want to hear a big”YES” to this question, the truth is that the answer is not as straightforward.

If you are looking for confirmation that losing friends is a good thing because it was the only way, you are not on the right blog.

Here we are talking about maintaining friendships and making new ones. However, there are moments when ending a friendship is the best you can do.

I will list here all the reasons why we lose friends when we focus on personal growth, the good and the bad ones. Bad reasons are those where it is only your fault for not realizing you are pushing some friends away when it is not necessary.

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8 Reasons you lose friends during personal growth.

I will list all the reasons for losing friends when focusing on personal growth here, and I will specify if I consider them good or bad. We might not agree on a few, but I respect everyone’s opinion, and I hope you will respect mine.

Good Reasons:

1. You lose toxic friendships

When you focus on personal growth, you start realizing that some of your friends are not a good influence in your life, so getting rid of those types of friends might be the best thing you can do.

However, before considering some friendships as toxic, please read the bad reasons as well so you make sure it is not your fault.

When you focus on your personal growth, you might end up with a better career and a more successful life, and some of your friends might envy or want to take advantage of you, those are clear signs that your friends are dragging you down.

It doesn’t have to be about money, even the fact that you are making new friends or having a better relationship and hanging out less with them might make them envy you.

Read Also: All About Being Too Humble

2. You change your mindset 

When you change your mindset, and you start being more positive, you realize how negative people are around you, even your friends.

When you stop complaining as much and being negative, your friends might have a hard time connecting with you as before, and they will think you have a problem, not them.

I know that more people start a discussion or small talk with a negative thing or a complaint than a positive fact. So when you try to change your mindset, it is hard to enjoy the time you spend with people complaining about everything in life.

You need to ensure you don’t end up on the opposite side of the spectrum since not everything in life is sunshine and rainbows. You should also be able to talk about negative stuff but maybe not focus on those as much as before.

3. You become more confident and able to say no to more things

When you focus on personal growth and becoming more confident, you might be able to say no to your friends when you don’t really want to spend time with them. Obviously, this might push them away since they are not used to it.

A small observation here is that there are times when we have to make extra effort or a small sacrifice for a friendship, as you have to do to keep your relationship, you have to do for your friendships as well, but it is not as obvious.

4. Start doing what you really like, not what other peoples do.

Most people think they do what they like, while in reality, many of our preferences come from our circle of friends and family.

When you spend a little more time with yourself and realize what you actually like doing, it might not be what you have done until then. This might lead to spending less time with your friends and even losing some of them since you realize that you have fewer things in common than you may think.

5. You pay more attention to people around you

When it comes to personal growth, being more emphatic, a better listener, and paying more attention to people around you should be priorities for all of us.

The good part about this is that you can understand your friend better and see how they actually are. At the same time, by paying more attention to your friends, you might realize that they are not as you thought and your principles in life don’t align as much.

Bad reasons:

6. Considering yourself better than your friends

Many people, when they focus on personal growth, end up considering that they are better than their friends. Not realizing that everybody is good at different things and being more aware that you have to work on personal growth doesn’t mean that you are better.

It is very hard to say that a person is better than another person, you might be better at some things, but what is certain is that you are not better at everything.

So we have to learn from everybody if we pay enough attention to realize what they are good at. Being humble and keeping your head down is much better than being arrogant in the long term.

7. You are annoying

Some people work so much on their personal growth that they feel the need to let everybody know that they are working on improving themself.

It can be very annoying to spend time with a person that is way too positive, everything is an opportunity, and they learn from all the mistakes in life. It is like they are bragging about the fact that they are focusing on personal growth.

8. Every time you hang out with friends has to be meaningful

Most people don’t understand that hanging out with friends for the sake of having a good time and relaxing is ok. It doesn’t always have to be more meaningful than that all the time.

When we focus on personal growth, we question ourselves, “why are we doing this?”, “How is this helpful?” and we forget to relax and do things that are not meaningful.

However, if you prioritize your friendships, you will understand that spending time with them is meaningful enough.

Read Also: All About Power Dynamics In Friendships


Losing friends is a thing that happens to all of us if we focus on personal growth or not. You can check my articles about how many friends people have at 30 or why it is hard to make friends in the 20s to see that losing friends sometimes is not in our control. However, sometimes we push them away without realizing it, so we can be better at keeping our friends when this is what we want.