There are many advantages and disadvantages to being quiet and talkative, so to say that one is better than another without talking about the context is just wrong.
People tend to follow trends and every trend is a reaction to another trend, if being talkative was praised in the past as being better, now we can say that being quiet is on the wave. At least, that is what I understand from people around me, articles on the internet, and so on.
That trend might change, and the tricky part is that both of them are bad if done to extremes, so being balanced is the answer to this question but this doesn’t help any of you since being balanced is not something you can measure.
That’s why I will talk about the pros and cons of being quiet and talkative so you can decide which one works better for you or how to adapt to certain circumstances since one does not exclude the other.
Quiet vs. talkative person
Here is the list of pros and cons for both of them, you also have to take your personality into account when you decide which one is better for you.
Pros and cons of being a quiet person
-You are not annoying.
People might get easily annoyed by someone who talks too much because they don’t usually know when to stop. Being quiet makes you a better companion, especially when talking isn’t necessary.
People that talk too much have the urge to fill all the gaps in a conversation which is quite annoying.
-You can be a good listener
The fact that you talk less doesn’t necessarily mean that you are a good listener, but you have a bigger chance of being a good listener if you are not talking more than them.
In order to be a good listener, you have to pay attention to the other person actively, and also, you might need to ask some extra questions, so you need to talk a bit, not just be passive.
Being a good listener is a great trait since it makes people feel better when you are around and gives you a chance to know them better.
-You seem to be more serious.
I have an entire article about why being serious is attractive so being seen as a more serious person is an advantage. However, that does not mean you are serious, it is just how it might be seen.
Also, not talking when necessary might have the exact opposite effect.
Some people say that quiet people are smarter than talkative ones, but that has some nuances. While I don’t want to contradict that because many talkative people are annoying and overconfident, being quiet doesn’t mean that you are smart, it might simply mean that you are shy, nervous, or you don’t know what to say.
-You seem more mysterious
Being mysterious is a good thing, especially when we talk about being attractive. Having to figure out a person to see how they actually are is what most people want when they are flirting. However, going to an extreme and never opening up or talking about yourself can be perceived as a lack of confidence or arrogance.
-You will be underestimated.
This one is especially true when it comes to the professional environment, but it doesn’t stop there. If you are quiet, there are bigger chances that people around you will not know what you are capable of and will not risk counting on you for certain tasks.
I would rather count on someone I know what is capable of, even if it is not the best for a task, rather than someone I know very little about. So you risk being overtaken by people less capable than you in certain circumstances.
-People don’t get to know you
With that many quotes and sayings online about why it is good to not open up, to bottle up everything, this is hardly seen as a disadvantage of being quieter. However, those quotes are there because they are popular, not because they are useful. In reality, it is very important that your friends and family get to know you as fast as possible for a better, healthier friendship/relationship.
Many people, especially adults, don’t have time to waste when it comes to making new friends, which is why it is quite hard to make new friends in our 20s and 30s, combined with people being encouraged not to open up even with their family.
-People don’t know why you are quiet
We tend to think that people believe that we are smart, and that’s why we are quiet, but we don’t know what they think. They might believe that we are arrogant, don’t trust them, or have low self-esteem, which is why we are not talking.
They can get very creative when you don’t open up and let them know to understand why you are quiet in certain situations, and their creativity can go in a lot of places, and that is a game you don’t want to play, especially when it comes to people that you care about.
Pros and cons of being Talkative
-People will like you more quickly.
People around you will know whom they are dealing with, and they might like you more quickly.
In a world where we are in a constant rush, getting to know someone faster is actually pretty nice in certain situations. We don’t want to hang out with new people we meet for hours and hours only to find out later that we don’t really like them.
-People will know what you are capable of.
When you talk more, people around you will get to know faster what you are or aren’t capable of. This can be helpful when it comes to them sharing an opportunity with you or things along this line. Make sure you don’t end up bragging all the time, and for that, you can read my article about bragging vs. sharing because there are some ways to talk about yourself without being perceived as bragging.
Being funny is attractive to many people, and having a great sense of humor is high on the list of attractive traits. It is hard to say about someone that is too quiet that they are funny because to be funny, you have to talk a bit, a quiet person can be funny, but more often, they aren’t.
Of course, it’s quite easy to end up being a clown instead of a funny person when you talk too much.
-Overwhelming and annoying
This is the biggest disadvantage of someone who talks too much, they are most of the time overwhelming and annoying, and people will tend to avoid them.
There are not so many occasions when talking a lot is necessary.
-Lack of empathy
Not all talkative people lack empathy, as not all quiet people are emphatic. However, it’s hard to be more emphatic while talking more.
Being emphatic is not binary anyway, it is more of a scale, so if you are talkative, you can still be emphatic, how emphatic you can be is the real question.
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In my opinion, being talkative is bad more often, while being quiet is bad when it matters when people really want to know you.
This topic is pretty nuanced since there are certain situations where being quiet is the best thing you can do, while in other situations, being quiet can get you fired from a job or things like that.
The best thing you can do is not to say that you are quiet or talkative and identify yourself as one or the other, but rather try to adapt how much you talk according to your circumstances.