Christmas, like thanksgiving, is that time of the year when everybody loves their family and want to spend time together, even if they ignore each other all year long.
This is not the case for everybody, in fact, many people enjoy spending time with family even if there is no holiday. However, when holidays come, some people have this wonderful talent of guilt-tripping you because you don’t want to spend time with family when it is the most important.
Before going further, it is important to say that I usually spend Christmas with my and my wife’s families, but there were years when I spent it with my friends.
All I want to achieve by writing this article is to make you understand that whatever decision you make is good and you should not listen to anyone that tells you how to spend your holidays. No one knows your circumstances and preferences more than you. I know it is a cliche, but I will tell you anyway that whatever you decide is actually the best decision in this case.
Should you spend Christmas with family or friends?
Christmas is a holiday meant to be spent with family members and loved ones, and the fact that most people want to spend it with their families makes spending Christmas with friends a bit more challenging.
At the same time, I would not want to encourage spending this time of the year with the family if the relationship is not healthy because, if we are honest about it, not every family is as it should be.
I experienced this in a year when my ex’s parents insisted on spending Christmas with the mother’s parents even if they knew that they were quite toxic, but they are old, and at this time of the year, we should forget the past, no?
No, it was a mess, they started arguing after half an hour, and they almost started a fight, I mean physically. You can only imagine how wonderful that time was, they were very embarrassed, especially because I was also there and I wasn’t part of the family to know them, for me it was the first time.
There are also some other reasons not to spend Christmas with family sometimes, there are people that don’t care too much about Christmas, and they don’t bother at all to decorate their houses, prepare food and other traditional things like those that actually give that Christmas spirit, and it is understandable if you don’t want to spend Christmas there. This might sound superficial, but in reality, no one wants to spend Christmas in a place that doesn’t have anything related to Christmas.
The conclusion here is that you should not spend Christmas with family only because “this is how it is supposed to be” but rather because you really want to spend time with family.
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When is it ok to spend Christmas with friends?
Whenever you want to spend Christmas with your friends you should go for it, your parents should understand that and not fight it.
Of course, all of us have different circumstances, for example, if you spend all year with friends, let’s say you live in another city and you want to spend Christmas with friends as well and ignore your parents, that might not be a good idea, and you will upset your parents.
But especially when you are a teenager and your friends are the most important thing for you, and you live with your parents anyway, spending Christmas with friends can work.
Being in a relationship also greatly changes the circumstances since now you have to take two families into account, and spending Christmas with friends might not seem that important anymore.
It depends on your circumstances but spending Christmas with friends, if possible, is not a bad idea if you pay enough attention to your family for the rest of the year.
Don’t overthink this too much, it is hard to please everybody, so you better start by pleasing yourself and spend Christmas with whoever you want the most at that moment. It usually changes over time anyway, so there might be times when friends are a priority in our life, especially when we are younger, and then moments when the family might matter way more.
Can you spend Christmas with friends and family?
Remember that Christmas is not one day holiday, you can simply spend one day with friends, one day with family, and one day with in-laws or whoever you want.
There are some circumstances when it is possible to spend Christmas with friends and family, so it doesn’t have to be separated. However, for this to be viable for everybody, many things must align, especially because your friends also have families.
Spend your Christmas with friends if you feel like it, and if your friends want to do the same, no one should make you feel guilty about that.
But for most people, Christmas is a time when they have the occasion to gather the large family and have a good time together since, for some people, gathering with all family is harder than gathering more friends together.