Telling your parents your exact salary or how much money you make might seem a no-brainer for many people, but is it all good?
In this article, we will discuss the pros and cons of telling your parents about your salary and how to know if it is a good idea.
Of course, there are different circumstances for all of us, so you should not take this as advice if it doesn’t fit your situation or your personality. This is my opinion and not professional advice.
Should you tell your parents your exact salary?
Yes, most of the time it is a good idea to talk with your parents about your salary since they should encourage you and help you with whatever they can in your career. That being said, not all parents are the same, and not all families are open when it comes to discussions about money.
Discussions about money are one of the most sensitive discussions for most people, and not being open with our friends or large family about money might become a habit that can be there with our kids and parents as well without realizing it.
Also, talking about money differs from country to country and culture to culture, so it’s not as straightforward as it might seem.
Money is a very important part of our life. So I consider it a plus if you can openly talk about them with your parents because they might be your closest friends in some situations and the people that will want what is best for you unconditionally.
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What are the benefits of talking with your parents about your money?
Our parents usually have a better experience with money, especially when we are at the beginning of our careers, which makes them more knowledgeable and able to help us manage our money.
Of course, this is not true for all parents since you can be very bad money-wise no matter your age, but most parents can handle finances better than their children when they start their careers.
Your parents should be able to help you make an efficient budget and manage your monthly income in the best way possible. They know better what paying the bills means and how you should consider that when you plan to spend your money.
Also, they might be able to help you negotiate the next salary rise and so on since they have gone through that process and know what you should do to maximize your chances.
Last but not least, and in my opinion, the most important thing is being open to your parents will strengthen your relationship and give you more topics to talk about, hence more reasons to talk with them.
How is your relationship with your parents when it comes to money?
This is an important thing to have in mind. Are you talking with your parents about money at all? If not, they might be reticent about this topic, and you talking with them about your salary might feel weird and out of place.
It might not be with bad intentions, but some people are really reticent in talking about money with anyone. You would be surprised to know that some couples, even married couples, believe that they should not talk about money with their partner or at least not as open as they should.
When should you not tell your parents about how much money you make?
There are some situations when it is not a good idea to talk about money with your parents. Yes, those signs might be a bad sign about your relationship with them or about their personality, but we will not get into that in this article.
They borrow way too often from friends.
If your parents borrow money way too often for not-so-essential and urgent reasons, you might need to be reticent in telling them how much money you make, especially if you make more than them or at least enough to be the person that will lend them some money. Don’t understand me wrong, you should always help your parents even with money if necessary.
I’m talking here about those parents that will borrow money for things that you should not borrow money for, like alcoholic drinks, cigarettes, unnecessary appliances, and so on. We prefer to think that no parents will borrow money from their kids but unfortunately, borrowing money for bad reasons is a habit for some people, and some habits don’t die.
They would envy you
If your parents envy everyone who makes more money, you might not be an exception. As I insisted a few times in this article, some habits are part of our personality, and we can’t control them as much as we want to, so if there is a real habit of envying everyone who earns more than you, it is hard to realize that you should not do that when it comes to your kids.
Personal story
One more personal example, this is not an argument to not talk with your parents about money but rather to be more open about it so they would be more open as well.
My parents gave me money every month in college, it wasn’t much but just enough to live a decent student life in Romania. At the same time, they put aside a small amount every month for me, around $50. When I first found a job, I told them not to send me money anymore since I have my salary now, which seemed fair at the time.
But my biggest surprise was to see that they even stopped putting those $50/month aside for me and spent all the money on non-essential things. They bought many appliances they don’t even use more than once or twice and so on.
For me, that was a lesson not to tell them how much money I make since I thought I spend money more wisely than them. Now looking back, I believe the best solution would have been to let them know that I have my money but make a plan with them about how they can put all the money aside for a downpayment for a house or something like that in the future which they would not have any problem with.
If you believe that your parents are not good in managing money, you can talk with them, and they can also send you money even if you have your salary but with the condition of you putting them to safety for a bigger purchase. Most parents want to help their kids, so this is not a bad idea, and it’s not really taking advantage of them since helping their kids might make them happier than a new way too expensive food thermometer.
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Conclusion
If we talk about a healthy relationship with your parents, your first instinct when you are hired should be to let them know about your job and your salary.
If you want to discuss the money situation that they otherwise would’ve sent you, being open about it is the best solution. See if they want to live their life and have vacations and so on, if you believe that the money that otherwise will be yours will make them happy, you should be happy for them. If you believe they will spend them unnecessarily, talk to them and let them know that there is another option(to save them)will spend them.
I hope this article helped you, and now you can be more open with your parents about money since it is something that might make your relationship stronger.
