While venting about your relationship might not seem the most mature thing you can do, it can happen to all of us from time to time since we are emotional human beings.
In this article, we will discuss how venting about your relationship with your friends might benefit or affect you, your relationship, and your friendship.
Should you be venting to friends about your relationship?
The short answer is no, you should not vent to friends about your relationship. While it is ok to talk about it, you might need to pay attention because there is a difference between talking about your relationship (sharing some facts) and venting about it.
The intent behind what you are saying matters. If all you want to achieve is to get honest advice from your friends, you should focus more on the facts rather than complaining, putting yourself in a good light, or victimizing yourself.
As I discussed in the article about bragging vs. sharing, we can say the same things, but the intention behind what we are saying can totally change how people receive the message.
So, it is better to calm down and organize our thoughts before talking with our friends about our relationship to make sure we are not venting about it.
Is it good or bad to vent about your relationship?
As I said, it is mostly a bad idea, but there are a few good things that can come from venting about your relationship with your friends.
However, the bad things are more obvious so let’s talk about them first.
-Friends will take your side most of the time, even if you are guilty.
Friends are friends, and when they see that you are angry, they will do their best to make you feel better and not their best, to be honest, and let you know that you might be guilty as well. It is not a conscious thing, but it comes naturally to most of us when we see a friend needing our help.
It is not that we are fake, but seeing our friends angry and venting about their relationship will give us a bit of their vibe and energy, and we might not realize that they might be wrong at the moment. We might realize it later when we process what happened, but later might be too late.
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-When venting, we might neglect some facts.
You want to believe that your venting about your relationship is justified, so obviously, you will not share with your friends the parts where your partner might be right. Most people are used to sharing only the bad parts of their relationship with friends while the good parts go totally unnoticed.
This actually makes sense, talking about how great your relationship is, is not as entertaining as talking about what is wrong. I know this is what a toxic relationship means, but the sad truth is that many people are doing this.
-It is hard to change their opinion.
You will have a hard time getting your friends to get along with your partner and setting boundaries with friends while in a relationship, which might be necessary for a good relationship.
After you vent about your relationship, imagine how hard it is to explain to your friends why you might hang out with them less often than before because you are in a relationship now.
-Friends might be the victim of your venting as well.
When we see a friend angry and talking without thinking twice about their partners, we have to ask ourselves how they will talk about us when we have a fight or different opinions on something.
Usually, I tend to believe that how people are talking and treating other people around them will treat me as well. I might not be the only one that thinks this way.
What good can venting about your relationship do?
There are a few good things that you can achieve by venting about your relationship with friends, but all those things could be achieved in other ways that will not damage your relationship with your partner or friends.
-It might give you relief.
You are getting this out of your chest, which might make you feel relieved. I say that it might since it can also make you feel angrier, so it is not 100% a good thing. However, talking about what is bothering you makes you see those things one more time, and you might realize that the things are not as bad as you thought they were. Usually, when we think about something, we make it seem more dramatic than it is in reality.
So saying it out loud might make you see the problem as it is, not as you imagine it is.
-Your friends might help you to calm down
While your friends might take your part even if sometimes they shouldn’t, most of the time they don’t see the problem as seriously as you see it, so they might help you to calm down.
Your friends not taking you so seriously might be a sign that you are not having such a big problem as you imagined before, or you might get irritated and even angrier, but that’s another story.
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So there are not many good things that can come out of venting about your relationship with your friends, and even the few ones that are there are not all good.
My advice is always to do your best to calm down before talking with friends about your relationship. We tend to be very emotional when talking about our partners, and exaggerating things is the obvious outcome.