While it’s true that introverts hate phone calls, it is also true that most of us kind of avoid them as much as we can doesn’t matter if we are introverts or extroverts.
The rise in apps for ordering food and texting with friends becoming more popular made phone calls useless most of the time, so I guess most of us are more reticent in making a phone call compared to 10 or 15 years ago.
Nowadays, we associate phone calls with something we have to do rather than something we want to do, and the majority of phone calls are formal, and just a few of them are between friends or family that want to check up.
It’s kind of funny that we invented phones for phone calls and now we live our life on the phone, we order food, order a taxi, watch a video, text a friend, send emails, some people work on the phone, but we barely use them for calls.
So it is not only because people hate phone calls, but we are not so used to them anymore.
Six reasons introverts hate phone calls
My wife is an introvert, and my god, she hates phone calls, except those with really good friends and her mother, which are rare anyway, but they talk a lot when it happens. The only reason for that is the distance between them, she would meet them if possible, but phone calls are the next best way of keeping in touch.
She is not at all afraid of socializing, she made conscious efforts in this direction, and she’s doing pretty well, but when it comes to phone calls, things are drastically different.
One time she had to call a dentist, and I saw her hesitating for several hours before giving up and deciding that she didn’t need the dentist as much as she thought.
So let’s see all the reasons I found from my experience and others when it comes to introverts hating phone calls.
1. Introverts need more time to think before talking
This is generally not a bad thing since, many times, extroverts can talk without thinking leading to awkward situations.
However, when it comes to phone calls, you usually don’t have enough time to formulate the perfect answer because those moments of silence during a phone call feel much longer compared to a regular conversation. It is awkward if no one talks for 5 seconds during a phone call while in-person, you can look in the other direction, play with your ring, or something along this line, and it will not feel as awkward, and the person in front of you will notice that you are thinking about an answer.
I always have this feeling that I have to feel the gaps in a phone call conversation and I noticed that most people do this while face to face, you would give more time to the other person to think or connect their thoughts.
2. The shock of receiving a different answer than expected
We all have a scenario in mind when we make a phone call, we know what we will talk about, what the other person is supposed to say, and so on.
But when we call for something and the answer is not what we expected, it’s easy to get shocked and freeze for a moment. That happens to all of us, but an extrovert usually will be quicker to say something than an introvert who has to think more about the new situation.
You can guess that some of the decisions an extrovert might make quickly are not the best, but they will not feel as overwhelmed as an introvert when in those types of situations.
My wife said that if she finally decides to order pizza by phone(which is the last option anyway), she has a clear scenario of what she will order when she will say the address and so on. If they answer the phone and say that they don’t have a specific pizza she wants, she will rather close the phone than choose a different one on the spot under pressure. Or if they put extra questions like what topping do you want or do you need a juice or soda, she has a hard time deciding if she really wants something else.
Read Also: Do Introverts Hate Parties?
3. You don’t see the person
Having in mind that 55% of a regular conversation is body language, this is a big part to not have when you talk with someone. So you can be as expressive as you want without this part of the communication. The vocal parts of the conversation are still there since the tone can differ even during phone calls.
Introverts are perfectionists and talking through the phone is not the perfect way of communication, so this might be one extra reason for them hating phone calls more than other people.
4. Introverts hate small talk
I have an entire article about why introverts hate small talk, and most phone calls with people we know will start with a small talk which can be very annoying.
Introverts will have a hard time understanding why small talk is needed since they are so meaningless.
5. Lots of intreruption
Introverts need a bit more time to prepare the answer or get to say what they want to say in the order they want, and the worst thing that can happen in those moments is someone interrupting them in the middle of their answer.
I guess it is annoying for anyone, but an extrovert might continue talking and not realize you interrupted them, or at least they don’t overthink the situation and continue what they are saying.
6. Phone calls are spontaneous
They are not always prepared to socialize, and phone calls are often not scheduled. The phone ringing might make most introverts feel uncomfortable because they will have to talk, while an extrovert can jump curiously to see who is calling them and let aside everything they are doing.
Read Also: All About The Fear Of Ordering Food
How to not hate phone calls as much?
I want to say that I also hate phone calls from time to time, even if I’m an extrovert, and I worked in sales and even in a call center for a few years.
So you don’t necessarily have a problem if you hate phone calls. I will talk here about how to prepare for phone calls, not to hate them as much, not about how to love them.
When it comes to phone calls with friends and family, try to understand that you can have gaps in conversations, even if they might feel a bit weirder than in an in-person conversation.
The first step you can take is to stop feeling the gaps when the other person is not talking, and you will notice that after a few seconds, they start to talk again, they just have to think about what they will say. And if they don’t continue, you can simply say, “I thought you had more things to say”.
When we talk about a formal discussion like booking a hotel, ordering a pizza, or anything along this line, it helps if you will try to talk less formally. I know most people don’t do this, but if you see the person from the other side of the line like a regular person, it will be easier to have a normal, more casual conversation, and you will not feel embarrassed if you don’t have the perfect answer to what they say.
Also, when you receive an unexpected answer, asking an extra question helps a lot. Let’s say you order pizza, and they say they don’t have the pizza you want, the best thing you can do is to ask something like, “what would you recommend that is similar to the one I wanted?”, or”what other pizza you have?” it is important to have a few more moments to think about what you want to say. You can add, “Can you give me a few seconds?” or “let me think about it” when you need extra time, and this is how you get enough time to think about your answer.
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Phone calls can put a lot of pressure on us since we are not as used to them anymore, especially if you usually need more time to think about the perfect answer, so no wonder introverts hate phone calls, especially formal ones.
Try to get as much time as possible to come up with a good answer, and don’t be afraid to let the person you are talking with that you need extra time to think about it.